Hello, Dear Readers. 

This is the first entry in the new Simple CuRes series, a spiritual offshoot of The CuRe All Letters with Cultural Restorationism (CuRe) at its heart. These pieces will be short and lighthearted. This initial one, especially, is meant to offer readers a quick sample. 

To that end, the author would like to jump in and introduce you to three cave trolls: Bub, Babi, and Ber. 

Bub, Babi, and Ber are trolls that live in a cave. Obviously. More importantly, they are a family. 

Bub, the grumpy dad, has had a busy year so far. That’s thanks in part to Ber, who just turned ten years old. The naïve human reader might think, “Ten isn’t such a bad age.” Not so for cave trolls. In fact, ten is the “Terrible Twos” of cave troll toddlerdom. It’s difficult to imagine a more inconsiderate roommate. 

Babi, the sweet, caring, loving mom—who, the reader will note, is not looming over the author in a threatening manner—has just taken a new job at the bridge down the road. Not so long ago, a cave troll collecting tolls was unthinkable. She and Bub have come a long way over the years. 

Tonight, as we come upon the scene, we find this typical cave troll family nestled in the dank chill of their well-cluttered den… 

Bub grumbled, “What a month. Dryer breaks. Bub fix dryer. Washer breaks. Cost half Bub’s spare teeth. Now comptooter breaks. Internet trolling gone. No teeth. No side hustle. Work makes Bub so angry his nose runs. Nothing ever goes right for Bub. Not even Bub’s name. People always call Bub as Bob!” 

Author’s Note: Bub asked me to highlight that cave trolls are quite entrepreneurial, despite the claims of a to-remain-unnamed hack goblin “financial expert” that their economic engine is a purely smash-n-grab affair. Even so, Bub admits, the closest thing cave trolls have to a standard currency is teeth. Not their own teeth, of course, says Bub. Human mostly. There’s a whole turf war involving tooth fairies he could explain, but his angry nose is dripping out of control. Let’s get back to him now. 

“Babi. What you think?” Bub glowered. The ensuing long silence sucked the breath out of the room. 

Babi set her phone down and looked up at Bub. “What did you say?” 

“Bub ask Babi what she think about what Bub say.” 

“Why are you talking like that? Weirdo.” Babi puffed out her cheeks in a cave troll laugh. “You look down. What’s wrong?” 

Bub ragefully forced air through his nostrils, coating the cave floor with fresh mucus. “Bub will talk how Bub wants. Besides, no one listen to Bub. Everything going wrong.” 

“Whatever. You sound stupid. And instead of moping, you should be grateful.” 

“For what? I’m a skinny, hairless, toothless, aggravated assaultless middle-aged troll with no comptooter!” Bub’s ears twitched and he paused. He smiled. “The cavetick.” 

As if to answer him, from deep underground, something punched the earth in the stomach, causing it to shudder. Then, silence. Then more shaking. It grew louder and more violent. A scream pierced the cold, heavy air. 

Ber, the five-foot tall toddler, burst into their midst, shouting, “Dada! Daddy! Mama! Mommy! Sittin’! Hi, Daddy!” 

For a moment, Bub remembered what was truly important, thus forgoing if not forgetting his worries. 

And now we must leave our cave troll trio until the next occasion…. 

We humans can learn much from Bub, Babi, and Ber. Family is at the heart of American Cultural Restorationism (CuRe)—and of everything. 

This is not to say that each of our families will be particularly blessed or that all of our children will achieve great things. Some families may be unable to have biological children. Some families may have no children at all for any number of reasons. Some families are broken and will not heal. 

Though flawed, family is the best and perhaps only means by which American culture, Western civilization, and the Christian faith have been and will be sustained. 

Family is the spine, nervous system, and beating heart of our culture and country. We should always remember that and guard against any attacks on or degradation of the institution of the family or our cultural pillars. Failing to do so will destroy us faster than any external threat. 

Final thought: Family should not be confused with deep friendship, comradery, or other forms of “love.” Family is separate and sacred. Modern Americans often are so consumed by the search for belonging that we lose sight of purpose. That being, in part, “Why are we here in the first place?” The author hopes that Bub, Babi, and Ber—through the Simple CuRes series—will remind us all what we should hold most dear.